Saturday, November 27, 2010

Bipedalism vs. Quadrupedalism

Over the years it has become apparent that some creatures prefer the bipedal position while others prefer the quadrupedal position. Through those years of study, noticing hardly any tripeds or pentapeds, it has been taken into consideration that bipedalism and quadrupedalism are the dominant pedisms. However, due to the vast majority of carnivorous quadrupeds overpowering bipeds repeatedly through the ages, the question of whether humans should continue to walk bipedally has arisen.

Traditionally, there has been an issue with large carnivorous quadrupeds, such as lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) out-running, over-powering, and devouring innocent bipeds, such as humans. In the new age, while these occurrences have declined, they have yet to cease entirely. In the well known Oz incident, a girl named Dorothy is emotionally attacked by one quadruped after another to the point of multiple emotional breakdowns. There have also been recent concerns with large aquatic quadrupeds related to the Loch Ness "Monster" coming forth from bodies of water to consume innocent bipedal types.

Bipeds are becoming fed up with all the attacks from quadrupedalism. Thus, the Biped and Quadruped Unity and Peace Alliance (BAQUAP) has called forth several meetings to discuss better relations. However, the quadrupedal community has never taken our peace talks well; so, humans everywhere can expect the switch to quadrupedalism to be soon and swift.

There may be a lack of support for the switch initially, but experts agree that "once humanity gets a good taste of quadrupedalism's power, we'll never go back to our bipedal wasteland." Not only will quadrupedal positioning increase our speed, power, and overall ferocity, but it will promote unity among the animal kingdom.

1 comment:

  1. well, not a very straight answer, but even before the ugly apes learn to straighten-up they notice that the easiest way to wand off predators are by throwing stones at them, and it's easier to do so by standing (or hanging if they prefer) of two legs). thus the first apes learn to straighten-up may carry with them already a long sharp stick as well as a bag of stones. just in case those sharp quadrupeds decided to show some teeth ...