Friday, September 20, 2013

4 surprising things beautiful people do with silverware

We're not saying you'll suddenly be beautiful by doing these things. But, who knows! Here are 4 things we never expected to find beautiful people doing with silverware.



  1. Eating. By a successively lowering the silverware to the food and lifting it in one form or another to the mouth, every beautiful person we've encountered in our research does this.



  2. Cutting food. With knives in particular, we found that beautiful people routinely cut their food. Not all food, of course. But cuttable food, like meat.



  3. Spreading spreadables. Butter, peanut butter, Nutella -- you name it! When a beautiful person has something spreadable, they turn to silverware to spread it.



  4. Washing it. Almost every beautiful person we found likes to eat, cut, and spread with clean silverware. For this reason, to our amazement, we found that they routinely washed their silverware, either by hand or by dishwasher.


If you find yourself doing these things too, look in the mirror! You might discover you're the sexiest person alive!

Friday, August 10, 2012

congratulations to squirrels!

Before we get started on the squirrelly business, we'd like to take a moment to deliver a well-deserved congratulations to ourselves. And here it is:

Congratulations to Us on our inadvertently accomplished mission of pointlessness!

And onto squirrels.

Congratulations to Squirrels, for burying nuts and finding them later!

Having tried to bury and relocate a few nuts in our day, we can assure you, they're tough to keep in the ground! So, let's all raise our glasses to the champions of the day: thepointless.com and squirrels!


Friday, May 18, 2012

untitled post

We couldn't think of a reasonable title for this article. We couldn't even think of an unreasonable one. But, we've got important things to articulate nonetheless. And here they are.


We have been in business for approximately eight years. And after eight average length years, some only slightly longer than the average year, we owe it to our faithful community of followers to provide the most pointless and long-awaited update of all time. If you write for a blog or newspaper, or report for any major news networks, now is the time to pay attention: now is the time to rest your eyes on thepointless.com and it's accompanying angry stickman blog (that's this).

Dedicated fans, the very moment we find the words, images, and scents to adequately describe the update we're nearly about to unveil, you'll know. So, keep the presses hot, and keep your eyes and ears at attention: an update of supreme pointlessness is in your midst.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

we are also good at poetry

As proof of our awesome poetocity, we present to you the following.

poem 1
a poem
should never be a haiku
because they are dumb


poem 2
a slippery spark upon a goose
with slippers on his slippery feet
are altogether less than loose
so long's he isn't super 1337

so what the hell is this about
i'm pretty sure that i don't know
so go and have yourself some trout
and don't forget to clean your feet




poem 3
la la la la la
ta ta ta ta ta
nnnnnnaaaaaaaaa
this is definitely not poetry
i mean srsly, it doesn't even rhyme
unless ... i say something like ... DIME!
bwahaha
we are the awesomest poetites ever
la la la la la
bwahahahahah!




fin.

Monday, August 29, 2011

enough silliness already!

Dear public,

We at thepointless.com would like to express our concern with the increasing amount of silliness floating about t3h internetz. Thus, we hereby express our concern:

We are concerned about the increasing amount of silliness floating about t3h internetz.

And, if you have in any way contributed to this silliness, we semi-formally request you to stop:

Please stop. We've had enough of your silliness!

Thanks,
thepointless.com