untitled post

We couldn't think of a reasonable title for this article. We couldn't even think of an unreasonable one. But, we've got important things to articulate nonetheless. And here they are.

We have been in business for approximately eight years. And after eight average length years, some only slightly longer than the average year, we owe it to our faithful community of followers to provide the most pointless and long-awaited update of all time. If you write for a blog or newspaper, or report for any major news networks, now is the time to pay attention: now is the time to rest your eyes on thepointless.com and it's accompanying angry stickman blog (that's this).

Dedicated fans, the very moment we find the words, images, and scents to adequately describe the update we're nearly about to unveil, you'll know. So, keep the presses hot, and keep your eyes and ears at attention: an update of supreme pointlessness is in your midst.

we are also good at poetry

As proof of our awesome poetocity, we present to you the following.

poem 1
a poem
should never be a haiku
because they are dumb


poem 2
a slippery spark upon a goose
with slippers on his slippery feet
are altogether less than loose
so long's he isn't super 1337

so what the hell is this about
i'm pretty sure that i don't know
so go and have yourself some trout
and don't forget to clean your feet




poem 3
la la la la la
ta ta ta ta ta
nnnnnnaaaaaaaaa
this is definitely not poetry
i mean srsly, it doesn't even rhyme
unless ... i say something like ... DIME!
bwahaha
we are the awesomest poetites ever
la la la la la
bwahahahahah!

fin.

enough silliness already!

Dear public,

We at thepointless.com would like to express our concern with the increasing amount of silliness floating about t3h internetz. Thus, we hereby express our concern:

We are concerned about the increasing amount of silliness floating about t3h internetz.

And, if you have in any way contributed to this silliness, we semi-formally request you to stop:

Please stop. We've had enough of your silliness!

Thanks,
thepointless.com

total facebook integration

Facebook PWNS the world, and we want a steak in it. A medium-rare steak with juicy off-brand steak sauce. That in mind, thepointless.com now allows you to create accounts and/or sign in using your facebook account.

Isn't that awesome?

And, as if that weren't enough, we're also handing out imaginary dolphins to EVERYONE. And, as if THAT weren't enough, you can have an imaginary replica of our delicious aforementioned steak. You can even imagine eating it!

Hooray for monkeys!

security alert: all your base are belong to us!

Listen up, kids. All your base are belong to us, and here's why:

In the mid-30's a group of elite phonograph hackers stumbled across the biggest security risk ever discovered in the world of stationary (non-portable) music players. It was discovered that by merely entering a phonograph owner's home, one could acquire sensitive information about the victim. That's right -- by simply stealing the phonograph owner's belongings, enough information could be gathered to successfully assume the victim's identity and belongings.

The threat continues today, even with modern stationary music players, such as RADIO and SHINY MUSIC DISC PLAYER and MAGNETIC TAPE READING THING. By allowing such an elite hacker to have knowledge of the presence of a stationary music player, you become subject this nasty form of IDENTYFICATION THEFT. Elite hackers will necessarily break into your home, steal your identity, and use your money to fund their 1337 h4x1ng activities. On top of that, Glenn Beck and John Stewart will also arrive and engage in an everlasting thumb war which will have make all your base are belong to us.

Live long and prosper, ape face.

what's been keeping us busy

Hey folks, this is our first ever installment of what's been keeping us busy. Much like the what's been keeping us busy sections of other notable dot-com's, we'll review the litany of things that have been keeping the folks here at thepointless.com busy since our last update.

So, without further ado, here's what's been keeping us busy:

1. Eating.
2. Sleeping.
3. Petting zebras.
4. Chasing monkeys.
5. Updating our Facebook status.
6. Wrestling squirrels.
7. Wrestling badgers.
8. Wrestling with our imaginations.
9. Wrestling reality.
10. Wrestling pro wrestlers.
11. Working at our real jobs.
12. Referring thepointless.com in 1st person plural form.
13. Writing a list of things that have been keeping us busy.
14. Waxing our eyebrows.
15. Waxing baby kittens eyebrows.
16. Waxing babies' eyebrows.
17. Waning.
18. Absorbing nutrients from the sunlight as a means to end world hunger.
19. Absorbing nutrients from red meat as a means to end our hunger.
20. Roping pigeons together to annoy PETA.
21. Roping members of PETA together to annoy pigeons.
22. Fighting crime with superhero powers.
23. Raising one eyebrow and looking slightly to the left.
24. Drinking copious amounts of water.
25. Urinating (frequently).
26. Pressing buttons that do unknown things.
27. Running away.
28. Recycling air.

Hmm ... that's about it for now. Be sure to check back with us in a few days ... or weeks. I'm sure we'll have something terribly impressive (and new) for you to see. In the meantime, here's another goat. (not goat)

zebra awareness

Zebra awareness is important. Not only is it important that we recognize the zebras around us and accommodate their needs - I mean hey, they're people too - it is our social obligation to assist all people in determining whether they are zebras themselves.

Zebras have a notably different set of skills than that of average people. Imagine living your whole life not knowing why you get funny looks in the movie line and drive-through. Or imagine disadvantage you would face as a zebra attempting to drive a car or ride a bicycle designed specifically for a human.

Zebras are people too.

Be part of the solution. Help raise zebra awareness. Take the zebra awareness quiz and share the results and the quiz with your friends and family.