Thursday, November 8, 2018

The truth about voting in elections

With the 2018 elections in our wake, and with the dust settling on the many Facebook and Twitter wars that ensued, we at would like to take a moment to clarify a few misconceptions about your votes in those 2018 elections and all elections.

Myth: Your vote counts.
Fact: Voting machines count. Jewelry thieves count. Small children count. And monkeys can count sometimes too. And nothing else.

Myth: It doesn't matter who you vote for as long as you vote!
Fact: It doesn't matter who you vote for as long as you keep it to yourself. If you show up at the polls, it only matters if you vote for our angry stickman with a public display of affection. Everything else is lame.

Myth: You're voting for the candidates on the ballot.
Fact: All votes are translated behind the scenes into Loony Tunes characters and are eventually reduced to gun battle duel between Yosemite Sam and Elmer Fudd. But, this too is moot, because Bugs Bunny wins by default every election and chooses one of the "elected" officials to feed an inordinate amount of carrots too.

Hence the lengthy history of orange guys in various offices ...

You are welcome for the facts. Feel free to agree with completely them in the comments.

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